A Little Adventure
Sometimes, married life ends up being somewhat of a monotonous endeavor for both parties. You wake up in the morning, go to work, come back home, have sexual intercourse and sleep. The next day, you do it all over again. Those who view such a routinary and “scheduled” life as something negative will probably find ways to spice things up by doing something out of the extraordinary like having an affair. Let’s admit it — to have an affair means living a little dangerously which may be considered as exciting and desirable most especially for people who hate the monotony of married living. Having extramarital affairs mean you will need to think carefully about how to keep it discreet and secret so as not to get caught. The danger of getting caught is something that many of those who commit such clandestine relationships as something exciting and adventurous.
Filling an Emotional or Intellectual Need
Some couples may have some incompatibility on some emotional and intellectual level that sometimes can result to either of them feeling misunderstood and lacking a little in terms of emotional and intellectual engagement. Sometimes it also causes some communication problems that lead to more serious misunderstanding. Meeting someone whom they can see eye-to-eye with on an emotional and intellectual will definitely be a strong invitation to commit into an extramarital relationship with that someone. On some occasions, a person may actually know beforehand that his or her partner may not meet such needs and hence, is open to having affairs to begin with.
Filling a Romantic Need
We are constantly bombarded by notions that romance is something that we all deserve. We see them all the time in movies and TV shows and somehow, it becomes somewhat of an ideal state that many of us view as something to strive for. However, in many instances, such romantic notion can be unattainable and unrealistic. When we meet someone that seems to meet such fantasies outside of marriage, we may view it as sufficient justification to engage in an extramarital relationship which may or may not involve sexual relationship (which may also be an unfulfilled need) as well, which brings me to the next reason:
Filling a Sexual Need
This is perhaps the strongest driving force in any act of infidelity and is one of the main reasons why married men and women decide to betray the trust of their spouses. In many instances, the need to fulfill sexual fantasies and to release repressed sexual frustrations are sufficient reason to risk it all. A percentage of those who admit to this as the primary reason why men and women cheat acknowledge the fact that curiosity is also a great factor like in the case of men and women who engage in “one night stands” which are considered an immediate and less risky fix to a sexual need. The fact that other people other than their spouses want to have sex with them is also something of a boost to self esteem which is also one of the driving force why married men and women cheat.
As an Ultimate Revenge
Sometimes, a married man or woman commits to a secret love affair with another man or woman to exact revenge on their spouses. Usually it is to get back at them for a similar disloyal act and although most will do it with the plan of not getting caught, some will do it to internally get caught so as to end their troubled marriage. This is something that many divorce mediators and lawyers hear about in their cases and is more common than most people think.